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Hotline Bling

You Used to Call Me On My Cell Phone...

While I was out running this morning, Drake's "Hotline Bling" started playing through my headphones. It inspired today's blog. While this song is about a guy who is upset that his late night booty call is clearly now seeing other people, today's blog isn't specifically about that. This is for girls who are feeling unhappy or frustrated with how things are going in their dating life or relationship. Here are a few questions to consider:

Are you feeling any anxiety when texting or calling a guy?

Are you constantly feeling like he's not answering in the way you would like him to be?

Is it all making you wonder if he's really into you?

The world of texting, instant messaging, online chatting, cell phone calls, etc, has everyone doing whatever feels like the best idea at the time but there is a way to navigate it all so much better.

If you make the decision to never initiate contact with a guy again this is what happens:

1. You will KNOW if he is into you. When a guy is crazy about a girl, he won't let her get away. All you have to do is... absolutely nothing. If you call him, you are taking away the chase. Guys are hunters by nature and they need to feel like they've had to put in some effort to truly appreciate what they have. If he calls you and asks you on a date, there's your answer. If he doesn't call you, there is your answer too. It may not be the answer you want but unfortunately calling him won't change his mind. He may feel obligated to see you or talk to you BUT if you let him pursue you instead, he will leave you in no doubt if he wants to see you.

2. There is no anxiety. If you put him out of your head, get busy with your life, see friends and other guys if they ask you out, you're not fixating on a fantasy that may or may not come true. A girl with high self-value isn't staring at her phone hoping he'll text her, nor is she dropping everything the instant he does text.

3. If and when he texts you, it's because he is not busy at that moment. A really good reason not to text a guy is that he's probably in the middle of something: work, a game, driving, whatever. You text him and then you're wondering why he's not texting you back straight away or if he does, you might feel like the tone of it is all wrong. The next thing you know, you're calling your girlfriends asking them what it all means. Isn't he really into you after all? Once again, the only way to truly know and remove the anxiety is to just leave him be, get busy with your own stuff and when he does get in touch, it's because he has no other distraction and the time to talk and/or ask you out.

Finally, if you really want to master the world of texting/phone calls, it's quite simple: Don't spend hours and hours texting each other all day long. Don't respond in milliseconds and when you do respond, make it at the end of your day so that you're not distracted from your work obligations. Keep your texts short and to the point but sweet of course. Don't tell him your life story in a text (or series of texts). Open up slowly on real dates. And if he's not asking you out on a date? Just stop responding. You're not looking for a text buddy. But don't tell him that. Your actions speak louder than words... And so do his!

Lynda Love

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