What Does it Feel Like When It's Right?
David and Iman
What does it feel like when it's right?
Are you in a relationship where you feel like your boyfriend is not treating you the way you would like? Are you feeling like he's taking you for granted and you're wondering if he's really into you?
Let me ask you this: Do you think there was ever a time since the moment David Bowie first laid eyes on her that Iman wasn't sure about how he felt about her? Do you think he ever treated her as though she was simply a convenience for him and took her terribly for granted?
Since the recent passing of David Bowie, the world fondly remembers the example of true love that he and Iman were. Let's forget the fact that he was a rock star and she's a supermodel for a moment. There are countless examples of couples of similar vein being in very dysfunctional relationships that eventually ended badly. Rather, I want to highlight the essence of the relationship and what it is about it that made it the classic match made in heaven.
Here are five key elements that are common with truly meaningful and happy marriages and they are highlighted using quotes from David and Iman themselves.
1. Man sees woman from afar and simply has to have her. He is beguiled by her and knows right away that she is the one. David:
"I'd seen her from afar on two or three occasions. We'd actually coincidentally gone to one or two plays, I think it would have been in London, where I remember her walking down the aisle to her seat. I thought she was the most fabulous looking woman that I'd ever seen. I never expected to even meet her and didn't for many years. Then a friend of ours introduced us at a dinner in Los Angeles.”
"My attraction to her was immediate and all-encompassing”
"That she would be my wife, in my head, was a done deal. I'd never gone after anything in my life with such passion. I just knew she was the one." 2. Man pursues woman. She is not sure about him right away and allows him the opportunity to prove himself throughout his pursuit.
"I found her intolerably sexy. I think I did something very corny the next day. I think I invited her to afternoon tea somewhere."
"He said he was so nervous he just said tea. He never drinks tea. He had coffee."
"I was coming from Paris and I got to L.A. at the airport. The doors open to the plane and I come out and I see all these people taking a picture of somebody…He was standing there, flowers in hand, no security. That was when I knew he was a keeper."
"Definitely I didn't want to get into a relationship with somebody like him. But as I always said: I fell in love with David Jones. I did not fall in love with David Bowie. Bowie is just a persona. He's a singer, an entertainer. David Jones is a man I met."
"He claims that he knew immediately I was the one. It took me maybe a week... David courted me in a very old-fashioned way, which was such a delight. People don't expect things like that from him. They think he's so hip and happening but he is truly, truly an old-fashioned gentleman."
3. A man who once may have been very sceptical about true love, is now so in love and consistently steps up to give the best of himself. He doesn't stop the pursuit and works hard to prove himself to her.
"I think it's probably made me aware that there actually is such a thing (as true love). I think it made love itself concrete. Possibly before then it was just yet another emotion I could write about in a rather objective fashion but now I'm the subject of it. I'm in love and that's a wonderful thing."
4. He will ask her to marry him within a year.
"I asked her to marry me on the River Sein." (After dating for 6 months)
"It was a ring that I saw two years ago in Florence that I loved and he went back for it. He found that somebody had bought it and he bought it from them and proposed with it. It was sweet and of course I said yes."
5. The marriage is blissful because he worked so hard to woo the woman of his dreams. He appreciates her and understands that he needs to give of himself to make it work. She adores him for him and never asks him to stop doing what he loves. He always speaks highly of her and she of him. They laugh together. Celebrities maintain as much privacy as possible and don't wish to make their relationship a media circus.
"I can let you in on a secret. We are blissfully happy. It's a fabulous marriage."
"I'd been used to working when I wanted, any time of day and I had to change all that for us because I'm a real workaholic."
"First for me is our marriage and secondly is so-called career. If there was a choice between one and the other, there's no question."
"You would think that a rock star being married to a supermodel would be one of the greatest things in the world. It is."
"We found each other at the right time in our lives."
"David swept me off my feet and I'm still off my feet. He has managed somehow, I don't know, miraculously, to have my heart flutter when he walks into the room still. So yes, he's definitely the one. He's definitely my one."
“I think you’ve got to feel hot for each other and respect each other. That’s where it starts. Also, we are very private so we decided from early on that we will keep the press and editors and everybody out of our house.”
“David doesn't fight. He is English, so he just stays quiet. I'm the screamer. Then he always makes me laugh. It's like cabaret. I keep him entertained too. I still fancy him -- totally! -- after all these years.”
Every person and every couple is unique but there is common ground that makes for a happy relationship and marriage. You don't have to be famous or a model or anything other than who you are. But the next time you are wondering if your boyfriend is really in love with you, consider the way David and Iman spoke of each other and their marriage. Don't you want this for yourself too? Don't accept anything less than the best for you...
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