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Top Five Tips for Women Texting Men

There is so much bad advice out there, teaching women how to flirt with a guy through texting or how to keep him interested by sending him a picture with a cute caption or a webpage you think he may like to check out.

As far as dating is concerned, the purpose of texting should purely be to set up the next date. It’s not a good idea to use it as a means for maintaining a connection between dates, for fear he may otherwise lose interest, nor should it be the means for getting to know someone better. Get to know each other face-to-face, on a real date.

All of my advice has nothing to do with game-playing and everything to do with protecting your heart. There are too many girls out there doing what feels right at the time, but inadvertently signing up for heartbreak.

Here are my Top 5 Texting Tips for Women:

  1. Don't Initiate Contact with Men. This simple piece of advice is the key to discovering if he’s really into you. If he never texts you again, you have your answer: He’s not crazy enough about you to pursue you. This seems radical at first to many women who don't see any harm in initiating a text but this saves you so much anxiety in the long run. If you don't text first, he won't assume that you're not interested. This is female thinking. He thinks you're busy and that he's going to have to work a little harder to get your attention. If a guy likes you enough, he will enjoy the thrill of the chase. Texting him first will also throw cold water over his anticipation of seeing you again. Let him wonder about you, miss you, think of all the things he wants to talk to you about on the date.

  2. Don't reply to all non date-related texts. I mentioned above that texting is merely a tool for setting up a date. If you are constantly receiving texts like, “Hey babe.” or “How was your day?”, they don’t all require a response. You’re a busy person who doesn’t have time to stop and answer dull texts like these. If he asks for a date, he has your attention. Until then, only reply to every two or three of these kinds of texts. And stop replying at all if he never sets up a date. If he doesn’t ask you out, he’s not interested enough. You’re not looking for a text buddy.

  3. Keep your texts positive and light. Save your deep and meaningful thoughts or your comments about how much you can’t stand your boss for your girlfriends. It's best not to burden him with all that stuff. He’s looking forward to seeing your beautiful smile and enjoying your company on your next date. Everyone has their difficult stuff going on in life. Just don't text him about it or bring down the beautiful experience of falling in love. Life isn’t easy but there’s plenty of time to share a little more together when you’re in a committed relationship.

  4. Don't indulge in "text fests". If a guy is really crazy about you when you first meet, he may want to text you all day and night. It’s exciting and new and he can’t get enough of you. But this is where most girls are making a fatal mistake. They’re happily texting back all day and all night for a few weeks and then out of nowhere, he starts backing off. Her anxiety levels peak. What’s happening? She texts him, “Hey, are we ok?” or “What’s going on?” and he disappears into the ether. Even men themselves often don't recognise how important the chase is for them but they need it to truly appreciate you and to fall helplessly in love. If you text him back in a heartbeat hour after hour, day after day, the chase is over and even he doesn't know why he doesn’t feel the same about you anymore.

  5. Don't text while you're at work or after 9pm. Unless it’s urgent or perhaps in reply to a text referring to a date you have that night, don’t text him while you’re at work. Daydreaming about him and texting him might feel amazing at the time but you really need to concentrate on your job. Constantly checking your phone and replying to his texts is a distraction from what you should be doing. He will understand you’re busy and admire you for being dedicated to your work. Text him at the end of the day. 9pm is a good cut-off. You need your beauty sleep and there’s nothing so important that requires discussion in the late hours of the evening. Save it for the morning before work if a reply is required

One more tip: Go easy on emojis. He might think you're crazy rather than cute!

Applying these tips will show him that you're a rare diamond. In a world where women are obsessing over text conversations, wondering why he isn't replying and analysing what his text really means, you are the unique one who understands that texting is simply meaningless chatter. Unless he's texting you to set up a date, a whole lot of precious time, energy and emotion is being spent unnecessarily.

If you'd like to talk to me about your dating or relationship experience, contact me for a free initial 30 minute consultation. Visit my website for more information. I'd love to help you!

Lynda Love

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