The Prince and the TV Star
Girls around the world have hearts aflutter over the romantic fairytale of England's handsome prince and his new American TV star fiancée.
Women's magazines are having a field day and it has not gone unnoticed that their relationship has been different to what we have been used to seeing from the royal family.
But did she or did she not "do The Rules" at all with Harry? I'm referring to The Rules, as written by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. It's clear that Suits star Meghan Markle has indeed studied The Rules book at length with her friends in high school and college.
See the interview where Meghan mentions her experience of The Rules here.
In this interview Meghan uses the term, "Creature Unlike Any Other (CUAO)", which she most certainly is. It's the first and most important Rule. She also says that relationships are not about game-playing and that following your heart is the best way to finding true love.
The Rules are a serious business and far from playing games, of course. In fact, they are a step-by-step guide to being the Creature Unlike Any Other that already lies within you so that you can attract and keep a wonderful man. It saves girls from being stranded on the rollercoaster of dysfunctional relationships and heart ache and casts her into a world of healthy dating, courted by high quality men who value her time.
While it appears that Meghan may not have consciously "done The Rules" (in fact she broke quite a few of them as Who Magazine points out above), let's look at what did contribute to Prince Harry falling madly in love, leading to a relatively fast engagement.
1. Prince Harry liked what he saw instantly.
It was a blind date set up by a mutual friend. In his own words,
Prince Harry: I’d never watched "Suits," I’d never heard of Meghan before. And I was beautifully surprised when I... walked into that room and saw her. There she was sitting there, I was like, "OK, well, I’m really gonna have to up my game!"
This is the foundation of The Rules: Man sees woman and is instantly captivated by her. She is a Creature Unlike Any Other and he knows that he needs to bring the best of himself to the table in order to impress.
2. He had lots of time to miss her.
Meghan and Harry lived on separate continents throughout their courtship. He did not have easy access to Meghan, especially because she was on set so much with a heavy filming schedule for her tv show.
Prince Harry: (Meghan was) coming over here four days or a week, and then going back and then straight into filming the next day... (Being) on two different time zones... and five hours apart does have its challenges. But you know, we made it work, and now we’re here. So, we’re thrilled.
This is crucial to men falling in love and is a fundamental aspect of The Rules. Men fall in love when they are away from you, wondering about you, who you're with and what you're doing.
3. She is a busy, successful independent woman with a full life.
Meghan did not make Harry her entire life. She had commitments to a tight filming schedule which she simply could not break and was also financially independent.
Again, The Rules are all about being a whole person before you meet a man. You are encouraged to pursue your dreams, get a degree, learn a language, aim for the stars, whatever your heart desires. This makes you more interesting to a man anyway and he doesn't fear that you'll make him your whole life and suffocate him.
4. Meghan embodies the concept of Creature Unlike Any Other
From the inside, right through to her beautiful exterior, Meghan is a CUAO.
"Being a Creature Unlike Any Other is a state of mind. You don't have to be rich, beautiful or exceptionally smart to feel this way about yourself. And you don't have to be born with this feeling either. It can be learned, practiced and mastered, like all the other Rules in this book." - from All The Rules by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider
5. Prince Harry believes that Meghan has what it takes to be his wife.
Prince Harry has not only fallen in love with Meghan Markle but he is confident she will embrace public life and the duties that come with it as a member of the British Royal family.
Prince Harry: The fact that I fell in love with Meghan so incredibly quickly was a sort of confirmation to me that everything, all the stars were aligned. Everything was just perfect. It was this beautiful woman just sort of... tripped and fell into my life; I fell into her life. The fact that ... she'll be really unbelievably good at the job part of it as well is ... a huge relief to me because she'll be able to deal with everything else that comes with it.... We're a fantastic team. We know we are. And, we hope to, over time, try and have as much impact for all the things that we care about as much as possible.
A CUAO understands that when she marries her man, she is therefore accepting everything that comes with it. She embraces it whole-heartedly and understands that she is now part of a team, a union of two people. If she doesn't want to accept it, she doesn't agree to marry him in the first place.
6. Prince Harry sees in Meghan many of the things he loved and admired about his mother, Princess Diana.
Prince Harry: Oh they'd be thick as thieves, without question. I think she would be over the moon, jumping up and down, you know so excited for me, but then (they) would have probably been best friends.…
Both of us have passions for wanting to make change, change for good.
Men often see the things they love about their mothers in their wives: their loving nature, their kindness and compassion, their beauty. (However, a CUAO avoids nagging at all costs as this is a sure-fire way to destroy his affections.)
7. The Royal Family are supportive of the relationship.
Meeting your boyfriend's family is nerve-wracking at the best of times but when his father and brother are future kings of England and his grandmother is the reigning monarch, that's a whole new level of pressure. This is where Meghan's CUAO nature serves her best: being calm, respectful, amiable, gentle, non-judgemental while understanding that you can't make anyone like you. All you can do is be your best (higher) self and let what's meant to be take its course.
Prince Harry: The family together have been absolutely ... a solid support and my grandparents as well have been wonderful throughout this whole process and they've known for quite some time. So how they haven't told anybody is a miracle in itself. But now the whole family have come together and have been a huge amount of support.
8. The Queen's corgis liked Meghan instantly.
Prince Harry: And the corgis took to you straight away.
Meghan Markle: That's true.
Prince Harry: I've spent the last 33 years being barked at; this one walks in, absolutely nothing ...
Meghan Markle: Just laying on my feet during tea, it was very sweet.
Prince Harry: ... just wagging tails and I was just like "Argh."
It never hurts to have the Queen of England's corgis like you on first meeting!
So what counted the most here?
Prince Harry was knocked out by Meghan Markle from the moment he first laid eyes on her. In his own words he fell in love "incredibly quickly". I can say with confidence that at no time would Meghan have felt "mixed signals" from Harry. There was no on-again/off-again drama, constant squabbles or any need to ask him where the relationship was going. He would have made it clear all along that she was someone he saw a future with. Look at the thought and effort that went into the engagement ring.
As I always say: There is no drama in dating. If there's drama, something is wrong - seriously wrong.
The Rules teach girls how to create healthy dating experiences where there was once constant drama. The key for Meghan now is to maintain her CUAO essence into engagement and, most importantly, into marriage. She needs to be cautious of her penchant to lead and of her other more "masculine" behaviours. It will be interesting to watch how she grows into her new life.
One thing is for certain though, a firm foundation for a lifetime of happiness has been established for Meghan and Harry and I wish them good fortune together.
If you'd like to talk to me about your dating or relationship experience, contact me for a free initial 30 minute consultation. Visit my website for more information. I'd love to help you!
Note: The quotes from Prince Harry and Meghan are taken from the transcript of the engagement interview from BBC news.