The Spirit of the New Year

Some thoughts as we begin 2017...

One of the most popular traditions of the New Year is of course, the New Years Resolution. There is a wealth of New Years “bah humbug” on the net as bloggers complain that most resolutions are broken within a day or two. But I don't see anything wrong with them at all. In fact, when my son was very young and I wasn’t going out on New Year’s Eve, it became a tradition of mine to seize the opportunity for reflection on the past year and write goals for the year to come.

None of us are perfect. Is there actually anyone alive that can honestly say they’ve never broken a New Year’s Resolution? I highly doubt it. But that shouldn’t stop anyone from making this time of year meaningful. It’s healthy to truly take stock of how far you’ve come, acknowledge your achievements and feel gratitude for all that you have. It’s also just as valuable to consider how you might do things better and strive for personal growth by setting more personal goals too.

As a dating coach, I’m focussed on helping women obtain their dating and relationship goals, whatever they may be. If your goal is to obtain the relationship and marriage of which dreams are made, I would like to quote the wisdom of Eckhardt Toll:

“As you may have noticed, relationships are not here to make you happy or fulfilled. If you continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again. But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation, and you will be aligning yourself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into this world.”

There is much personal growth required to achieve a truly loving relationship. You must love yourself first in order to love another. There’s no point searching for the person who is going to make you happy or fulfilled. You must be happy and fulfilled first, otherwise you are going to be disappointed and disillusioned.

Alongside your goal for the relationship of your dreams should be goals to become the best version of yourself. Treat yourself and your body with respect and kindness. Feed it well, exercise it and take time to relax and be present. Practice stillness, non-judgement and acceptance, not only of others but yourself too. Recognise and appreciate all of your gifts and talents and use them to create. As you strive to be your best, you will notice a positive change in the type of men you will be attracting and the quality of your relationships. You will soon discover that you don’t need to look outside of yourself for making yourself whole. Everything you need starts from the inside and you attract the energy that you resonate.

There are many tools I can help you with to begin or continue this journey specifically in dating and relationships: How to date with confidence and class and have fun while doing it; how to decide once and for all if the relationship you’re in is serving you and your purpose well or how to reinvigorate a marriage that may feel like it’s stalling at the moment.

Finally, why have I called this blog, “The Spirit of the New Year”? Because every single moment in the here and now is an opportunity to start over and do it better. Don’t ever be drawn into thoughts of failure and hopelessness. Never give up. Stop, breathe and from this moment on, it’s like New Year’s Day again. Happy New Year!